• I was watching Stay and feeling kind of shitty, and I was thinking about Henry and his pain, and I felt it. I watch movies lately, and I feel their feelings. I have never had such an occurrence and I wonder now if this is how other people feel. But with the joy I feel their pain, the gut wrenching pain that reminds me of my own and I want it all to go away. I don't honestly know what is right and wrong anymore. I don't know who to trust and what to believe in. If there is really a future in us or anyone. This ending and this life is tearing me a part and I have become a little self destructive in my ways. I looked my mother in the eyes today, she looked scared as she asked if I would come home and all I could mutter was, 'I don't know, Mom...I don't know...' and I felt my eyes well up with tears because it is what I have wanting for so long, but I don't know if I can trust her and if going back is evening an idea worth thinking on. I just want a hug, so fucking much. I just want a hug. I am waiting for these pills to start working. Today was the first day of what I hope to be a healthy life. I am waiting on so much, and I just want to feel like I matter again, but I am not sure if it is even worth it. It is going to hurt either way. This is loneliness. Quote of the Day: ~"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired."~ --Mother Teresa

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