• i guesss it also just kills me that in like i dont know five years i wont even remember your fucking name and i wont ever see you again after you graduate so why is it such a big deal to me ? and if i had transfered schools like i had wanted to in the beginning of the year i would never have met or had a relationship with you so why can it bother me so much ? its fucking high school puppy love and its stupid and im being stupid about it. wtf is wrong with me. i need to get over this and get over myself. i guess it all goes back to "we accept the love we think we deserve" well i sure as fuck dont think i deserve love from joe hes so perfect and sweet and innocent everything im not and im just gunna hurt him so i dont accept his love and i reject instead of returning it with love like i should. but you, you give me fucked up love thats so distorted and messy and wrong and not real and fake and hurtful and thats what i think i deserve. mostly you dont give me any love and i guess thats what i think i deserve i guess i dont think i deserve love because im not a good enough person i just hurt everyone around me.

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