• i knew something was wrong. you were with me but you didnt like me. and im crying and its stupid because i fell fucking hard again and i just do this all the fucking time when the fuck will i learn ? probably never. does anyone learn ? i feel like the pain of love ending is that feeling like giving birth that our brain and body just forgets so that we can love again and have another kid (THOUGH IM SO GETTING THE DAMN MEDS). im crying till there arent tears left. it was too short to be so hurt but none the less i feel like every part of me is just ripping out and torn to pieces. oh my god that fucking thundercunt will be so happy that this happened and she'll do the whole told you so told you so shit and im so not looking forward to it. everyone who told me he was like this is gunna be all told you so. so not what do i do ? do i send a mass text to everyone to let them know the status ? or do i have to wait till people ask me about it so i burst in to dry heaves when i try to talk about it because thats gunna happen because i mean theres just no tears to cry. its just the empty feeling i now have that i hate. like i hate even more that having a boyfriend fulfills me but its true i feel so alone and im embarrassed about that. god i guess i expected this though. it was stupid to think that i was good enough for you or that i made you happy when it was so clear i didnt. and thank god for my sister because she does makes me feel better all the time. so now its not that bad its a dull ache but wow fuck still because im already so unhappy and that sucks. and i feel like a complete idiot because i actually thought this would last what the fuck is wrong with me. clearly everything. but really this isnt because of me its because you still love her and maybe if you just be with me for a lot longer ill come to replace her but i doubt it but hell ill try. and well i just hope youll still hang out with me and let me lay on your chest just because itll make me happy. i wonder where i go from here.

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