• Dreams. I have those, they vary from night to night. Some are happy, but most are depressing. Sometimes once in a while they are beyond anyone’s average definition of terrifying. They are my night terrors. They occur when they please, waiting for the lowest points of my self and attacking in the middle of the night, completely hindering my senses. I’ve noted they worsen when provoked by a genuinely horrifying film or music that is so powerful it leaves me in an aura of haunting leading into my sleep and ultimately, my dreams. The worst I’ve had, perhaps ever, would be from last week. A place incredibly reminiscent of SIlent Hill, the sky dropping pieces of ash, wearing nothing but torn cloth, walking along the main road. I had cuts running all up and down my arms and thighs, they were still bleeding as I walked along in a confused state of mind. There was nothing, not a hint of life for what seemed like miles. Suddenly everything turned black and I opened my eyes again to endless halls with white covering the walls and ceiling. The front was very simple, there were no doors or signs leading to an exit of any kind. My heart started pounding and very quickly I began running, no, not running, sprinting. Sprinting down the halls of vast empty space. Sprinting for so long, sprinting for hope, hope that there will be a way out of this hellish place. But there was nothing. All of a sudden a turn appeared to my right, I followed it around praying for the exit I’d been hoping for but my legs turned to stone. Refusing to move they froze me in the middle of a long hall seemingly turning from its original white walls to a darker poisoned gray. Blood red vines were creeping through the cracks the walls were forcing as the room began to contract making the stone that supported it break in a brilliant fashion. The change in atmosphere successfully ensured a state of trepidation as my legs quivered in fear of being crushed. Unexpectedly the walls stopped caving in on my helpless self. The clearway slowly came into view making my mind wonder what would be appearing before me in mere seconds. I saw light drops of blood trickling down the path in front of me. My legs returned to flesh, being able to move them I began walking towards what it would lead me to. The dark room behind me began to disappear, I turn back around and stop in rapid fear. My heart again, pounding faster and faster. In front of me stand two figures, one on either side of another long hallway, both are perfectly still pointing to the halls, the figure of a man on my left pointing to my right and on my right the figure of a woman pointing to my left. They were leading me to where I had to go, a place that would protect me. I look to the floor still in absolute fright. I could feel the quivers my body made as the reverberation came rocketing off the floor. The hall ahead of me continued down still marking the way with blood but the blood was heavier along here. It flowed superbly down to what I was sure I was searching for. I turned back to the figures, they changed from their boney shapes to humans. They were my parents, they were leading me away. Begging, pleading. Their eyes full with hope that I would stray from the hall ahead. I ignored them. I mouthed - “sorry.” Their human form shriveling back to boney structures pointing to the halls left and right of me. A decay of high hopes and expectations. Dead and gone. Turning to ash they disappeared and my options diminished as the two halls either side of me slammed shut, all that was left was the dark passageway drawing me in with the scent of fresh blood. It reminded me of the sea. Slowly beginning my descent I followed the trail. Whispers of familiar voices came smothering me, warning me. Ignoring them I found myself standing at a black door. Beyond the door I could hear sobbing, “forget, forget, forget.” It was another familiar voice. A far too familiar voice. Recognising the crying, everything instantly changed; my clothes went from tarnished cloth barely covering my body to dark skin tight jeans, converses, a dark red singlet and dark jewellery. The rooms changed to a large city house, only missing windows in its walls. My hair, ruined by the blood I had shed from the cuts I conceived earlier returned to its clean cut state. I was back to ‘normal’ but the person beyond the door as I could tell, was far from it. I open the door. There she lay, a broken girl, tarnished and disfigured from the abuse she had endured at the hands of her own. “L?” I ask. “What are you doing?” She only looked up, surprised to see me she throws the blade held in her hand against the opposing wall. She began to cry, “how? How are you here? I’m sorry. So sorry...” She continued, a blabbering mess. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I stood there, looking around the room. It was her bedroom, I could tell, despite the mess created: the white sheets on her bed suspended from the ceiling, entirely ripped. Blood.... Everywhere. Splattered on the walls, the floor, her. There was nothing left untouched by destruction. I simply stood. Horrified. I asked once, “why again?” On the floor she lay. Self destruction caught back up to her. On the floor she lay, a bloodied mess, carried away by her appetite. I’m now falling to the floor, a rose without its sun and water. Shriveling to what was something that stood beautifully tall, untouched by destruction and self-mutilation. It all came rushing back. I crawled over to her dying body and whisper in her ear, “you’re dying, L. You’re dying.” I began to cry. Holding her now, as she took her last breaths. I knew it was the end. Using her last part of energy she opened her eyes. No words came out. She just looked at me. That look that promised me everything was going to be okay. This time it was a lie... Nothing was okay. She mouthed to me what I had heard thousands of times before, just one last time. Then she was dead. I let go of her. Walking away one final time I turn to her bloodied corpse and scream, “I’m not your Juliet.” Turning back, following the hall that I came from, away from what I had originally searched for, drops of tears came flowing down. The girl I left behind would never really know, never really understand. But on the floor she lay, the world would never reach her again. There she laid on the floor; like in her dreams, she was forever gone.

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