• It is so strange to me how such nice things can be said to me, and I can still feel so sad. Yet, I watch perhaps one of the saddest, most insecurity provoking films I know of, and I feel okay. While I was watching (500)Days of Summer I started to think about something that silly boy would always tell me about, about how everything is transient. Well, you know what? I think maybe he was right, but I don't think that it really even matters. Watching that movie again made me realize that even though the ending is sad, and his heart lays wheezing on his apartment floor, it just really does not matter at all. It doesn't matter because they had those moments, those lovely bright blue moments in the sunshine and in the gloom. Maybe things are transient in relationship. I'm certain they are, in fact. However, maybe for some people they are in a different way. Maybe we'll be some people, maybe we won't. Maybe we will love and live for three months, or three years, or until we're old or dead. Or maybe we'll never even get that far. Right now though, that doesn't really matter to me because I am feeling alright. I wasn't last night, but I am now. Maybe that's not okay, not normal, but...oh well. The truth of the matter is that I don't think when we meet someone we'll know how long we'll love them or how long we won't. There is no meant to be, or going to be, or seeing you in the future because I feel it in my heart. There is here, and there is now. I know I'm being overly optimistic and maybe all that indie music lifted my heart higher than it should be held, but I think I'm going to try to remember this moment in the time to come. It is going to be a trying time, I could really use this sort of feeling though it. I think I'll call tomorrow. This morning I realized that I was really, truly at the end, and if I didn't get this fixed, if I didn't have that silly boy to tie me down, then I don't think I'd be sticking around too much longer. So, tomorrow, I'm going to call. I'm probably going to cry afterward and be scared to death, but I'm going to call. Then I'm going to go shopping and wear those purple textured stockings that make my legs look longer than they ever could be. I think I'm finally ready. Quote of the Day: ~“Fanatics in power and the funnel of a tornado have this in common - the narrow path in which they move is marked by violence and destruction”~ ---Oscar Wilde

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