• theres a strong possibility that i have OCPD. Obsessive compulsive personality disorder. different than OCD which everyone knows about this specifically focuses on my "rigidity, control, perfectionism and an over concern with work at the expense of close interpersonal relationships. persons with this disorder have trouble relaxing because they are preoccupied with details, rules, and productivity. Often perceived as stubborn, stingy, self righteous, and uncooperative" of course a mild case but it just seems to me soo true about me as well as the fact that im just such an obsessive person. i mean i keep obsessing over HIM and its going to ruin everything and im soo obsessed with not getting annoying or anything like FUCK FUCK FUCK i just wannna die bc itd be easier than trying to figure out the right way to do things for him. lighter note though even though courtneys being a bitch about HIM bc shes jealous that he chose me over her even though now she has a boyfriend wellll danielle totally agrees with me and realizes that courtney did the same thing to her over bry and about emilio and its ridiculous and danielle and i are like closer now that we share that as well as that emilio is more my friend again yay ! but really its great that danielle knows what im going through. though i dont wanna lose courtney as a friend like she did that would suck but i do miss danielle and i hate courtney for outcasting her from our group but im working on building our relationship back up. hmmm what else uhhh idk im just happy and like even though HE was a jerk to danielle she still thinks its cute i am gunna be with HIM and supports me and its just such a good feeling and i hope HE doesnt leave of god i could not take that if he did im already attatched to HIM this isnt going to end well for me....

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