• another million tv shows another movie, another chapter how many characters and imaginary plot lines can i fill my brain with before there's no room left to remember that i'm wasting away my life there's so much nothingness out there so many magazines with skinny gorgeous girls in all the ads and articles about how everyone is beautiful too many sitcoms with the that would never happens, the perfect love of a scripted chemistry that makes me feel like melting what are you doing? i ask myself after the third show turn that damn thing off and so i do, for a few minutes or an hour, but then... i get bored again and scared because my sister is always on the god damn computer and i quit gymnastics and my body is so sore from that stupid class at the gym with all those 40 year old women who are also just trying to kill some time and so i watch tv because it's s easy my mouth goes slack with my teeth flashing out all over the place i am so disgustingly lazy and everyday it bothers me less and less and less i keep making promises about this summer that's what i do whenever i get too disappointed with my life swear that at some pre set time i will change my entire personality and miraculously make it better i will go to concerts and on road trips with out telling my parents i will have fun and do weird things like play my guitar in shopping centers and not be self conscious but really i know it's all bull shit i am who i am: lazy, boring, and terrified i need something more than a date to change that i need something to actually happen to me otherwise i might just be stuck inside my little tv world forever if there's nothing new worth getting off the couch for

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