• its embarrassing the things i do with you and im ashamed of the things i do with you. but i hate being alone more so i'll continue to do them so youll stick around and keep me from my traumatic self. you could save me but you dont want to. you see the damage of everything but you dont wanna fix it because youre getting a pretty sweet deal out of it. and i know i the damage will stay until i stop but as soon as i stop i know youll disappear just like the rest of them so ill keep going and keep going and ill keep getting deeper and deeper. wish it wasnt this way but it is and theres nothing to change it. i just wanna spend night in your arms and nothing else but thats not what you want from me. and ill comply to what you want so that you will stick around. i just hate being along cant take being alone and my only options are you and being alone so i choose you. i cry all the time we're together and all the time we're apart. its hard. but you dont even try to help me when im crying in your arms you just pretend like its not happening. i need you to be my knight in shining armor (could i be any more cliche except thats the only way i know how to describe it) i just need you to stick around and save me from myself but you dont even know thats what youre doing and youll never be able to tell that it was youre doing. so ill keep getting more involved with you until it goes too far and gets too late and theres no coming back from it.

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