• I dont know what to do. i know i cant live without him, but i still let him go. not because i dont love him, or i have someone else, but because i need to change myself a little for the better. i've been through some f***** up s*** when i was younger, leading me to feeling inferior. i was honest to him about my past, and he helped me to rid my heart and brain of that inferiority .. however, i soon realised i was only using him as a defense mechanism and relied on him to get rid of my fears.. when, i know i should be doing it for myself. its unfair to stay with him, knowing im still in a thousand pieces, but i feel its best to let him go .. i dont want to fall back into that safe zone. its not fair to him or to myself. aarrghh! but i love him so much, i didnt want to let him go.. i want to be with him forever, we had it partly planned already. but how can i be with him if im still like this? perhaps i need to 'fix' myself first, then maybe... in the future, if im not too late, i can win him back... *sighs*

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