• ever notice that all buses smell like piss? like who's relieving themselves on a bus? its disgusting. anyway, last night was at kelseys. so... I couldnt really sleep, there was so much tension between me and madi, it was unbearable. It brought back feelings I didnt want to have. She looks amazing though, beautiful. Aside from that, it was an action packed night hehe, but I cant tell the internet about that part! And me and Jimmy had this MASSIVE DnM, It was so good. Im really glad we've become closer lately, we're fairly similar in many ways. Back to this whole Madi issue. I need to vent. You know how you hope that things will happen, and you play over different situations in your head. But purely because you hope theyll happen, they just dont? Well all night, I was hoping that something might happen, I dont know what, just something. I wasnt sure whether I should do something, because I was the one who told her to stop talking to me. I wish I could read her mind. I really do. If I'm honest with myself, the only thing I want is Madi, back in my arms. I'd give everything I own, everything I am, just to have that. This reminds me of an Escape The Fate Song, Friends and Alibis: I hate to be the one to bear the bad news, Yes it is true, I finally fell in love, I fell so hard that I'm killing myself, Yes I need out, out of this grave that I've dug Peace the Fuck Out

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