• everything changed. so quickly, but why? It made me afraid, o so many things. afraid ofcaloing someone my best friend.. I don't get it. you hurt me so much you know? I loved you so much and you could never accept it... you got so scared of our friendship that was bordering relationship you bailed. I fucking cried over you. you know I don't cry. I cut over you too. I cut all over my thighs the night you told me we'd never be beat friends, or friends. "I always acts like your boyfriend" you were scared. and you knew it. C decides to txt me, not THE C, just C, telling me that he regrets what happene between us in year 9 and how he wished he hadn't chased E. I don't care really, he had his chance last year. I appreciated the apology though, he didn't even need to apologise. he wasn't one who caused heartbreak. It was the rest of the year who did. just shocked me what a decade does. my first full decade from start to end, not just half way. my lamb, my precious lamb, why did you fall for him, why? you were my inspiration for so many things, you stopped me from things I know I'd now regret. you were my world, well more like I thought the world of you. but you fell for it and now you're suffering the consequences, you've lost me and the other J. we fucking love you you know, it's just that guy who's years above us changing you and what we love... now we're all left. what else happened in 2009? I'll tell you...

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