• there are so many ways to amke your life meaningless telelvision, movies, homework assignments you can get swallowed up in all that viewing if you sit back and let it happen, any thinking disagreeing part of you will just disappear there's something about crossed legs and folded hands that makes me feel safe only getting up exactly on the hour only looking at my watch at the change of a scene routine life in a routine world where nothing extraordinary will ever happen to me I've been watching drug movies. requiem for a dream, spun, and trainspotting zoom in on the dialated pupils fast forward on the amphetamine blurs i live those images, over and over simple pictures and wonderment of a feeling i can't imagine i have never had a rush, never had an oh my god maybe that's how people get addicted the get stuck on a feeling they can't live with out i have no idea what to do with the rest of my time i want to adventure but this town is so freezing i can't get far with all the rules and requirements i'm not allowed to be too different that's okay because my someday is coming and i'm ready to waste some time

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