• honestly, I NEED MY SHRINKKKKK! i am tmpted to ring himto make an appointment, but, paents and yeah, fuck it so, bad days, are being very bad, like 2?? days ago, um, i lfet the door opne, my dog ate ma bros guinea pig, i got ragged at, majorly, all of them yelling, wellie cryig, so i ran off, yeah literal running, to my hill, i cut, i screamed, i shook, i bit, i punched myself, over and over and over i was fuckign out of control i havent felt like that in sososolong i was scared, i spent forever on teh phone with l, just talking, i calmed down, as soon as i got back home, it started again, they didnt deven have to talk, i cried al nigth after that um, im blakning, i worte this in my head, on the wy back from victor, this, and fantasing bout jay, my trip went quickly oh, tripping. the sky last night, two layers of clouds, and it lokks like i could touch one, yeah WOW so, this book, a million little pieces, it could be my bible, its the monster. he talks baout what he calls the fury, this intense anger, the need for pain, tand how you quench it with the fuel, for him, crack, and later ciggies and food, for me, the self harm, the binge eating i understand. its me, oh yeha. neat, my aunt, think if mum finds out bout jay n me, she'll flip. fuking yay >< im tyring to see her before i go away, BUT ITS NOT WORKING >< if i dont kiss her before i leave, i may actually die >

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