• i crave one thing in my life and that is the feeling of the mixture of being wanted and needed. sitting here in bed alone again like always and i pine for you. all i want is for one guy to go just a little out of his way to show that he really wants me and needs me but that will never happen. he texts and he emails but that is it theres no real effort and then he starts blaming me for the failed friendship but he clearly doesnt understand or listen to me or need or want me. i tell him repeatedly that all i want is for him to show me im so important after telling him he is so important to me but he doesnt do it. i see him every day i walk behind him from class to class everyday and we make eye contact but if he truely cared he would turn around and come right up to me and talk to me, force me to look him in the eye and directly talk to him and make sure there was no pretending i didnt see or hear him i cant ignore him if hes right in my face and if he cared then he would realize that but he doesnt care he only wants to be my friend when it is convienant for him but thats not how it works and text after text and email after email will be ignored until he makes the attempt in person all he had to do to get me back was pay attention to me but he never does thus he is ignored right back. and if youre going to say merry christmas to someone you know is ignoring you at least say it on the right date not the next day how much can you care if you dont even take the time to do that AND how stupid do you look not even knowing its the wrong day. i give up on guy after guy because they are never interesteed in me but this and they really arent wont text me unless i texxt them first if they even text me back which usually never happens and im just so done being treated like dirt fuck it fuck them fuck me who gives a fucking shit. i cant call you i cant text you i cant see you i cant fall for you i cant love you because you wont call back you wont text back you wont see me you wont catch me you wont love me back though i am to blame for all of this. to quote utterly famous Cheap Trick.... I want you to want me I need you to need me I'd love you to love me I'm beggin' you to beg me....

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