• he left this morning and i still can't stop crying my eyes, they're so sick of all the moisture every blink threatens cascades and i keep shooting for the waterfalls I broke his heart last night, although it already seems further I made him break, made his left arm tingle just because i couldn't promise forver the words, though, i didn't realize they'd be so vile so toxic, so disgusting I'd contaminated him, made him sick from my hurt and i knew i had to take it back, so i changed my mind I went ahead and promised I feel safe now though, i really do I am 18 years old and i am making a statement give me regrets, and tattoos, and everything else i can not change i'm still waiting for something terrible to happen it's time to start being reckless with ink and words and hearts, i am becoming a real person in response to every college essay lie, in response to waking up as soneone else's reflection i have begun destroying i am in love, so much in love, but i don't know if i'm allowed to be that happy it feels too off center, a drug altered universe my fingers are crossed, becuase i did mean that promise i believe in forver not lonely but at the same time there is still the pull in the corner of my chest, warning this could all unwravel

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