• He's been there since day one. Every time I turn a corner he's there, smiling, flashing off looks to die for. I've wanted him so badly but never got the chance to tell him that before he slipped away. I saw him from time to time, but nothing worked. He was always hidden in the background, coming forward at random, meaningless moments, but the sun rose and set in him. I always thought my virginity was destined to be his, but that wasn't true either. Another boy came through my life, in a whirlwind, and set me on fire. Now that he's gone, I am glumly staring at the wall wondering what life would be like if I didn't know my first love had ever existed. It would have been easier I think. Yet, its better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all, as the saying goes. There is not a moment I regret knowing who he was, but I wish I could have gotten closer to him. It's a tease, knowing he's there, he exists, but there is no possible way I can have him.

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