Almost one year to the day since my last entry. If you were to ask me one year ago where I thought I would be today, it would probably not have been this. "Not have been this" in that I haven't gone anywhere, really. I essentially traveled in one big circle; I'm just starting college, I still live at my parents' house, and I still only have one part-time job. On the upside, I have a girlfriend now. We're approaching eleven months, making it our longest relationship yet. And we plan to keep it that way.
Aside from that, I ended up dropping out of UNH in March. I've been reaccepted, however, and I start again in January. Third time's a charm?
My emotional state has been fluctuating a lot lately. I no longer receive therapy or medication due to a lack of health insurance (which will change once I begin school again). If I sound depressed at one moment in this journal, I'll be happy the next day and look back at this, laughing to myself for my emo-esque thought process. Then I'll look back at it another day and feel like I was understating my actual emotional state. I'll contemplate death one day, then laugh in the face of it the next.
It's a strange thing how an annual journal entry works. Writing in this journal is a sort of nostalgic feel for me, like I can summarize the year's happenings in only a few paragraphs while simultaneously looking back on the previous years. It's almost as if I can place myself in that state of mind all over again. I know I'm probably overanalyzing the situation, but it provides a temporary escape from reality, even if that escape leads to a more unwanted place.
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