• I am trying so hard to write a song filled with meaning but every word combination has been used before love like sunsets fighting the truth all stolen images, copies of a copy my mind isn't right right now only five hours last night i have a physics test to study for and a room to clean the ever growing to-do list scrolling through my head sometimes i consider just closing my eyes and hoping the tasks will all disappear but come morning the list only seems longer i miss virginia because i miss him there was no perfection in that sunshine weather only love and sex and tears and laughter the little gifts of everyday that make me feel deserving of happiness i don't know what i will do without him in his room on the last night i started crying, hideous tears mascara black over burning red cheeks because i realized just how much i need him a simple mistake, a careless half descision, a grabbed wrist and a heart break did you know it shoots through your left arm, when you are simply melting in piece? these little tingles, like when your feet fall asleep, filling the gaps between muscle and bone that's where all the tears you have no more energy for hide up inside your shoulder blade today in class, the aimless droning i copied down something but i'm not sure it was notes maybe lyrics with oictures, maybe brilliant unwravelings i decided not to read it over acting class is a presentation of bullshit and errors in language i wrote that down too, all the incorrect and idiomatic expressions she used "let's get the giggles out" "that was lovely" "Can I ask you to crawl on your knees behind the walker and scream your lines like you're desperate to be heard?" giggles are not tangible lovely does not describe pain and you can ask all you want but i may not concede the way everyone is so careless bothers me language, poetry is how i understand the world no one says what they mean anymore expression has made us liars i wonder how long it will be before i start to do it too?

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