• So I haven't wrote in a while, I heard some things you said about me, in a less than desireable light. I pray to all gods, that they aren't true but the more I think about them the less I can convince myself they are true. It's like when you look at an object through a glass, and the object is disfigured but I have convinced myself of what the object is, but then you see the object without the glass and you see that what you thought the object is and it's nothing close to what you thought it was, but when you see it through the glass again you can't see the object you first thought it was. I thought we might actually have a chance, but now I don't think we do, I really wish I could but I doubt I can convince myself we will. I feel like you were just saving me for a rainy day, like you just kept me around when life was hard. You only seemed to reply when life was bad for you. I serious hope I am mistaken but I don't think I am. The truth is always ugly and I guess I see that clearly now that the glass is gone so to speak. There was one time you txt me and said "I love you, you are a beautiful person". I never believed that you meant "Love" in a romantic way but more in a friendship way, but those words were like music to the ears of a deaf person who is hearing for the first time in his life. I miss you treadfully and still love you with all of my heart. This will be the end of the saga of journals I have been composing about my feeling for you. This is more painful the I care to express, and even if I tired I don't think that the frail words for the English languge would do my emotions and thought justice. No matter what life brings for you and me, whether it brings us together or further apart I will always be here for you I'm whatever way I can. Although I may not physically be there, I can promise that I will be there for you. My last words that I will leave with being said are; Miss Ford, you will always have my heart and I will love you till the last beat of my heart finally fails me.

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