• ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH! I am not three years old. I am not five years old. Im not even ten years old. I am sixteen and a fucking half. I am old enough to make descisions for myself. I can act on my own. I don’t need her over my shoulder constantly. I don’t want her there. She buts her fucking nose into everyone’s business. Fuck her. She can try and make gus straight, its not her place to put in her two fucking cents in EVERYFUCKINGWHERE. So I was fooling around with gus. So we were spooning when she walked in. I DON’T CARE. She believes in no sex before marriage. Does that include screwing around? She once told me that letting guys touch me means im easy, that they’ll think ill just fuck for nothing blah blah blah blah. She never experimented? She never got horny? She never let herself just go? I bet she aint fucking mother teresa, though knowing her, she is. I have my own life. Yeah, so I hook up with alotta people, I fool around, im not a virgin. But I’m safe. I don’t put myself in situations that are gonna end up badly. Contrary to her belief, I can do stuff myself, even if I wont catch a bus. Fuck. She started on me about that. ‘maybe she can catch the bus down? Whos she gonna be meeting with? Oh, your not gonna kiss anyone are you?” I am my own person, she needs to fucking learn that. I don’t know if I can stay living at home for another year. she still treats me like a kid. They need to chill abit. Let me do things for myself. Right now, I wanna be back in gus’ bed. I wanna fuck. I want to be my own person. I want her to let me have some control over my life. She wants me to visit nannie. I don’t, not coz I don’t wanna see her, but for the entirely selfish reason that its gonna make me feel like crap, and that’s been happening a bit too much lately, I don’t think I have enough control overmyself to do that. But I cant tell her that. We just can’t fucking talk.

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