• Well, I think Im going to go to the game on firday so I can see you, as much as Id love to go see Corey Smith in Evansville, Id much rather see you, even if we dont get to talk, just a smile more a glance into your brown eyes will be worth more than anything I could experience at the show. As Im sitting at my computer now typing this entry Im listening to Beethoven's Romance on violin, its making my skin crawl. Even though there are no words in it, I can feel the sadness that he is expressing, yet my heart races as it builds. Its funny, cause I feel the same sadness when I see you and know it isnt my hand that your going to be reaching for but my heart continues to build as time goes on. Though there are the rough times, like when I txt and already know that no reply will come, but I know that I was able to tell you something and I can picture your smile and hear you laugh echo through my thoughts, and its wonderful. The meer thought of you can lift my spirits and give me a better outlook on they day. The song doesnt give a definite end, the song doesnt end on and overly sad or happy note, which is the same for me. I want to be there for you be the one to tuck you in at night, be the last person you talk to before bed and the first when you awake, but I cant convince myself that it will happen, I would love for it to and feel that the odds are in my favor just a matter of time, but 100% Im not sure. I guess it will be one of the long challenges that I endure, but I will endure for your love, because I have deemed you so highly that your worth to be can not be measured. The poem I wrote for you comes to mind: I wish upon a star, Somewhere way up far. Maybe you'd be mine. Just a matter of time. One day I'll hold you in my arms promise to keep you safe from harms smile, lips touch, then we kiss I'll be left in a monet of bliss. Hold you oh so tightly kiss you oh so lightly It will be a dream come true When it's jut me and you Just a matter of time One day you'll be mine. There are days when I seem to lose heart, I want to convince myself to move on, but how could I ever forgive myself, even if it was possible to do so, lol. Which it isnt, I dont even have to try and fail to see that. I know even if we dont end up together, I just want for you to be happy, even if I can be the one to truly make you happy. If I can look into your beautiful brown eyes and see that without a shadow of a doubt your happy, I will be able to be happy myself. I would die to be the one that makes you feel the happiness I feel when I even think of you, but in the end I just want you the be happy. I love you, and I hope one day to be able to look you in the face and get lost in your eyes and tell you I love you and hear it back, but until then I will continue to kiss your picture goodnight and pray that when morning comes Ill be one day closer to that dream.

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