• If journals and diaries are for us to write our lives down in, does that mean that the complexities of life are actually simple enough to be composed into words and written down into the confines of a peice of paper? None of what follows has anything to do with the pervious. I wonder if you know how much I am haunted by your face? yet, as much as it hurts to see you I would die for one more glimpse of your smile. I dont know why or how writting down my feelings helps but it makes me feel as if there is a hope that I will be the one standing beside you at some point in life. Today I awoke from a dream where we were hugging, standing out in the medow beside my house. The sun was shinning and the beautiful fall breeze started to blow and never stopped. As I started to come to and wake up, you started to fade out of my dream. As I could feel your arms loosening around my neck, my arms squeezed ever tighter around your waist and I whispered "Dont let me go, dont let me go". Yet I still woke up with out you. Its utterly painful to sleep, cause then I dream, and when I dream its of you, but when I wake you not there your a hundred miles away. But I still look foward to sleeping because in my dreams is the only place I get to see you. Its bitter sweet though, knowing that in my dreams, a twisted fanasty where no others have a chance at your love. My dreams are mirrored oppisites of the real world, yet I still can find a shred of comfort in them.

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