• omg i am so freaking happy i totally just figured out how to fix my journal yay yay yay top of the world for a while i can pretend this is enough to smile living without a journal was so weird all these brilliant words and thoughts just darting across my mind only to disappear in the tips of my fingers i have said it before and i'll say it again without these words i don't exist the ache in my heart felt better today i am back to missing him on a normal still funtioning level last night was so scary, when i couldn't stop crying that's the closest i've ever felt to the edge of insanity all that pathetic desperation, the need to be promised i'm so so sorry i'm doing this to you, but you're the only one who understands i know, he says, we'll be okay why can't i stop crying? why does this hurt so bad? you're just in love, he told me this is how you give your entire being up to someone else this is how you learn to feel and this, right here these words, this is how i'm getting by

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