• So Mike was over last night, we had dinner and watched a movie. For all of you who don't know, Mike is my brother. He made steak tips and peas, and surprisingly it was really good. He wasn't drinking or anything, and he was really happy. We talked about our father, and the difference he is making in his life and how well he is doing. I love them both so much. Me and Mikes relationship is very awkward. We have been through a lot together, good and bad. Things that I can remember from when I was 9 and on. Everyone has bad memories, of fighting with their brothers and sisters, and so do I, but I have worse. Abuse, alcoholism, rape, douche dads, and disaster would just be on repeat through my life. I am not complaining about it, because it made me who I am now, a 17 year old girl who is applying to Dartmouth and University of Delaware for pharmaceuticals. We anyways, I have good ones with Mike too, and my father, like sleep overs where the drinking wasn't all that bad. I started speaking to my father in February of 2007, for the first time in 10 years. I spoke to him through letters for the most part, then I sent him and I never heard back. I got a letter in November of 2007, and he was in prison. I sent letters to him all the time from that point on, I wanted a relationship. Mike still wouldn't talk to him, because when I was younger and my dad was around, Mike was old enough to know what was going on. He was the one that suffered the abuse and everything that came with it. We have continued to talk and just recently he got out of prison early. He is in a half way house and was severely depressed, so again we stopped talking. But now we are all talking, which is good. I am not really sure I want to get into the rest of my life now, maybe another time. Its too much to think about at this point, some scars aren't healed yet, and I'm not sure they ever will be. You hardly recognize me, whats the deal? You hardly recognize the way you feel...

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