• i was just thinking about heath ledger. he had such a beautiful smile. he really made an impact on the world. poor guy. i'm honestly wigging out. i don't know how else to describe it except with that archaic term. i feel like i'm growing up too fast and that the lost boys have pegged me a lost cause. it's almost funny how my brain is protesting these chemicals. i'm getting a 95 in the math course. almost like a, 'don't fuck it up' notice. i know as soon as my blood tastes them for the first time, i'll be ruined. all the roads will be marked, and all of my nerve gone. i wish i could increase the weight of these matters. it's just been tough lately. i can't really explain too much. i guess sometimes i just sit and watch all the bridges leading elsewhere burn. i can't rest my face in my hands though. the smell of kerosine makes me nauseous. all the water surrounding me is coated in it. only like dissolves like, as you know. i'm honestly unhinged. just watch me fall through the crack and come out a skeleton.

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