• ugh i hate papa sooo much. my dad is all like ," oh ashley he loves you he is just old." and i am thinking to myslef how to tell him that i know he doesnt like me!! i have prof. GOD i swear this is sooo screwed up!!! ok so my aunt called and asked for grandpa and he wasnt there so i told her i would tell him to call her back. well i forgot, and later that day i had a friend over and he comes up to me and says really meanly," ashley i am so dissapointed in you!! why didnt you tell me she called!!!?" and i said" im soo sorry i forgot papa. my mistake." then he cut me off and said, "i know your sisters, april and angela, would NEVER make that mistake." and then he looked at my friend and said ," and i know you would never do that." god i swear i was about to aim at his neck!!!! i wanted to scream or to tell him to shut the fuck up. but any ways so ya im not really happy. Ben said that im dark. i think i am being myslef but he said this isnt me. it kinda hurt when he said that i changed and he didnt like it. but i havent changed and and UGH i just blah blah omfg. ya i feel so down in the dump and soo just sad. i mean does it hurt to give a hug or to hear the words i love you. at least i know my cat loves me lol.(his name is muffin.) he is as cute as can be. i just fead him. i like to make poetry and stuff so i might be sharing it. im listening to hollywood undead and greenly estates. i love alot of bands it is so hard to name them all. i feel llike my heart is burnt and cold and just shaddered that i cant live anymore. i go threw pain every day and i see pain in people that i dont get time to enjoy life. ugh. i also compose my own piano music but it is sooo very sad. and depressing. i wish i could screamo sing!! it is sooo cool. i think this might be a long jornal lol. i am sooooo tired i didnt fall alseep till 1:30 and then i woke up at 2 am and didnt fall back asleep till 6:00. it was awful. uh what a long day. i wish my friend would call. im listening to never shout never lol. it is good. huh that is funny. my life naturally sucks. lol. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. i dont know what to say right now so ya see ya.

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