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Okay so a month or 2 ago I was on a mission to become the best left handed guitarist in america, lol. But somewhere in the past few weeks my whole genre of music has changed. Not because I got bored with the genre I was listening to, but because of my feelings in general. I met someone, and ever since its been straight R&B. Before that it was serious rock and metal, and I was on a quest to find out who I really was as a person. Come to find out that all this soul searching was unecessary because in all reality I was just finding hobbies to occupy this void ive been trying to fill for quite some time. The only thing I do fear though is now that I have this "distraction" in my life, I might flee from things that are the true definition of who I really am. But on the other hand, I feel like this new recognition of old genres of music is helping me get used to the idea of experiencing that four letter word again. I cant remember the last time I felt like this. I believe that instead of dwelling on what i did wrong in the future made me shy away from some of the things that reminded me of love. But now all those feelings are on the verge of resurfacing and it just makes me more cautious of my future love for my future lover. Scary thought, but I'm willing to face it no matter what...
1 Comment
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i was about to log out when i read your journal entry. i will comment about it because i want to! and im aware you dont know me and i dont know you but who cares? i dont think there is such thing as "a definition of myself" for you or anyone. we are always changing, some change more, some a little and there are some that dont change at all and thats bad, unless they are perfect. listening R&B is actually good, it means you are changing. the void is like a black hole, it never gets filled completely, so be open to everything and always try to learn new things. however you might have started to like r&b because of that somoneone you mentioned. and that cant be that good because it probably means you like it because of him. but what do i know? good luck with the guitar.
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