I write to right now very early in the morning to say that i cannot take it anymore. i wake up and the first thing i start thinking of is the goddess i've, against my better judgement, given my heart and life to. As the title of my entry suggests, i will let her listen to the sounds of silence no longer. i only hope that i will soon have the chance to be able to talk to her alone so i can finally tell her how i feel.
this is so hard, because i realized when i first started to fall in love with her that there was no chance that this girl, this same girl that i can't stop thinking about, that is constantly on my mind 24/7, that i don't think i could live without, that there is no possible way that she could like someone like me. and to add onto this, my best friend (or so i think) keeps telling me that she doesn't like me the way i adore her (he would know because they have been friends since childhood). my only hope is that my thought-to-be friend is the worst person in history to tell a girl's feelings (which is actually quite possible, but that doesn't help for some reason).
but even as i write this, i start to wonder if i should be more patient, since love is patient. but how long must i wait, when i've been waiting for almost a year? again, my fears grab a hold of me, as i am scared to death to even talk to her, and even more scared that if i talk to her about how i feel, that i'll just drive her away, which would be a fate worse than death itself, to be kept away from the person i love more than life itself.
one last thought that's been going through my mind before i sign off. if for some reason this girl and i are meant to be (heaven forbid), i know that there is SOME reason that God has put her into my; some reason that in this part of my life, i would recognize her for the beautiful, wonderful person she is. i only wish and pray that God would reveal to me why she is in my life, instead of having me guess.
well, as i am ready to sign-off for now, i look back at my title and realize it does not fit anymore, as i have decides to show more patience (if at all possible), and see if i can figure out why this terrific person has been so wonderfully, yet painfully placed into my life. i leave the title in place as a reminder that one day, she will no longer be forced ti listen to the sounds of silence.
hoping for a light to be shone on his love,
-tyler
Sounds of Silence No Longer
- July 03, 2009
- audioafan
- No Comments
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