I'm listening to passion pit...
They've kindof completely changed my view on a person
Or maybe it's the fact I'm completely undecisive
and my beliefs can genuinely change within moments unrecognizable to myself
I thought, only less than 24 hours ago, that you were completely beneath me.
But you twinkle. You are blissful and I can truly say I admire that.
You've expirenced a loss that would ruin me, yet you recover to high spirits and I see that you're easily enthralled and I'm glad.
you deserve it and so much more.
~~~~~
NOW YOU ON THE OTHERHAND...
Completely pathetic.
Downright embarassing.
I've never felt such a disconnect from a human before.
You try to swoon these people in false pretenses that are evident beyond recognition.
It's filthy and I'm embarassed for myself for trying to hold on to something.
History is the only thing binding us together.
Be happy with yourself, love yourself
Stop pushing away the people that truly have your best interest in mind for these oh so mighty ones that would easily turn you off for their own benefit.
In truth you are much like the majority of people
fake
and i'm not sure why now it's truly beginning to disguist me?
~~~
But the sad thing is,
is that i love you so much.
And I'm appalled at myself.
Full of regret on the past situations.
That night we pushed all the bullshit behind us and just flowed
we didn't think much but we did have adventurous, free conversations on everything.
you opened yourself up, completely vulnerable
a state that i have never seen in you since the first time we've met over 5 years ago.
it was beautiful, looking back at it, but at the time i felt a huge disconnect..
with you and more so with myself
I felt alienated from you
and that scared me
that upset me
that dissapointed me...
after all of this time, a feeling that i've desperately wanted to expierence with a person, is lost.
i found you quite slow and you bored me and secretly i hated myself for thinking this way
and the fact of the matter is that you share all of the similar wants and desires as i.. yet somehow i was completely turned off by you.
i'll never know but i will stop searching for the answers.
because i don't live in the past, and i'm already tired of it.
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