• i can take it in the eye. for the team. for them all. i can take it. i can take it. don't give a shit. don't blink. don't fall. i wrecked my car. and i think i did it on purpose. my subconscious wants me dead. i'm not sure my conscious approves. i want to go to church. and be little again. and feel clean. i don't want to be this dirty. i want to be without sin. but i am full. i can feel the particles of grit and sand and filth. flowing through my bloodstream. i miss my god. i want too much. i want it all. but it's okay. "all i have to do is put myself into the mind of a killer. it was hardly a stretch. ...here's hoping i'm back on my game." all my islands have sunk in the deep, so i can hardly relax or even oversleep i feel as if i were home some nights, when we count all the ship lights i guess i'll never know why sparrows love the snow we'll turn off all of the lights and set this ballroom aglow

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