All this emoting is making me empty
These words about nothing they spill and spill out of my pores,
self indulgent nonsense
Talk to fill silence
talk to fill nothing
I want to stop, but i can't
without these words, i don't exist
I need the proof of a nod, of another opinion to create a strong enough frame work on which to pose myself
I am a manifestation fo a beautiful cliche
i am that girl; poster child for the abusive relationship
I let people walk all over me
I beg to get hurt
I beg to feel victimized
Who i am is just a combination of art school and seventeen magazine
I am shallow and fucked up and addicted to caring
I live so much in this world, in the past and now because i'm too afraid of being wrong when i think about my future
See the way i write, IIIIIIIIIIIII
it's so selfish it's disgusting
There are children starving in africa
there is lady gaga starting a music revolution
And there is me this little grain of sand who talks about her life like it's the center of the universe
Reading books is like falling through the glass
drugs and sex and pretty colors
It's all just worlds i wish i could be part of, but i'm in a completely opposite dimension
I don't know who i am because i'm nto a real person
i'm only an actress who always seems to forget the right lines
I have to care about homework and school because i can't live deliberately
i forget that every action has a reaction; is completely my choice
there is no mandatory
it's all in my own hands until i let the influences take over
Jump to me talking about prom and how i told chris how i feel
Jump to him basically laughing in my face and catching my obsession
Let's not talk about Dan calling me a bitch to my face
Let's not talk about the kick ass sex in the back of his car without inhibitions, all "give it to me baby" and "make my toes curl"
Lose lips sink ships but alchol sinks everything
in one night, you can fuck up your world enough to flip it
In one night, you can fuck up your world enough to make things right
Chris says "I don't trust anyone, except for my drug dealing brother"
Chris says "if i find some other girl who blows my mind, i'm going to leave you"
I say "Thank you so much for being in my life"
I say "I'm so sorry all this caring is so messy to see"
Chris says "Your welcome"
and to eric chris says "I wish someone would come take her off my hands"
I do not know how i'm supposed to respond to this
it's okay if you will never love me
I already knew better than to expect that, babe
I just wish you would have warned me before you let me get this obsessed
I just wish you would have warn me before you let yourself inside
I am a toy with bangles and no scars
i crash when i don't sleep because i am only human
After this i will do history homework
After that i will go to bed
it's so boring, so blaze darling
You know you've hit rock bottom when even drag is a drag
Every part of me is infected and dirty
I need to escape from my story
all these Is are so so meaningless
I'm your biggest fan
- June 03, 2009
- serenity23
- 1 Comment
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