• All this emoting is making me empty These words about nothing they spill and spill out of my pores, self indulgent nonsense Talk to fill silence talk to fill nothing I want to stop, but i can't without these words, i don't exist I need the proof of a nod, of another opinion to create a strong enough frame work on which to pose myself I am a manifestation fo a beautiful cliche i am that girl; poster child for the abusive relationship I let people walk all over me I beg to get hurt I beg to feel victimized Who i am is just a combination of art school and seventeen magazine I am shallow and fucked up and addicted to caring I live so much in this world, in the past and now because i'm too afraid of being wrong when i think about my future See the way i write, IIIIIIIIIIIII it's so selfish it's disgusting There are children starving in africa there is lady gaga starting a music revolution And there is me this little grain of sand who talks about her life like it's the center of the universe Reading books is like falling through the glass drugs and sex and pretty colors It's all just worlds i wish i could be part of, but i'm in a completely opposite dimension I don't know who i am because i'm nto a real person i'm only an actress who always seems to forget the right lines I have to care about homework and school because i can't live deliberately i forget that every action has a reaction; is completely my choice there is no mandatory it's all in my own hands until i let the influences take over Jump to me talking about prom and how i told chris how i feel Jump to him basically laughing in my face and catching my obsession Let's not talk about Dan calling me a bitch to my face Let's not talk about the kick ass sex in the back of his car without inhibitions, all "give it to me baby" and "make my toes curl" Lose lips sink ships but alchol sinks everything in one night, you can fuck up your world enough to flip it In one night, you can fuck up your world enough to make things right Chris says "I don't trust anyone, except for my drug dealing brother" Chris says "if i find some other girl who blows my mind, i'm going to leave you" I say "Thank you so much for being in my life" I say "I'm so sorry all this caring is so messy to see" Chris says "Your welcome" and to eric chris says "I wish someone would come take her off my hands" I do not know how i'm supposed to respond to this it's okay if you will never love me I already knew better than to expect that, babe I just wish you would have warned me before you let me get this obsessed I just wish you would have warn me before you let yourself inside I am a toy with bangles and no scars i crash when i don't sleep because i am only human After this i will do history homework After that i will go to bed it's so boring, so blaze darling You know you've hit rock bottom when even drag is a drag Every part of me is infected and dirty I need to escape from my story all these Is are so so meaningless

• i really really like this.

  deedex11on June 06, 2009   Link

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