• so latley i havent writtten much um, im depressed, more so than usual, im happy for a minute, then th slightest thing will bring medown th smallest tiniest fucking thing its doesnt go away iv been cutting so much i love it and hate it at the same time i want so many more cuts but i cant, nt in the places i want, not on my arms that wont work, too hard to hide pple they try n help me but its hard i cant accept anything they say that im this beautufil good person bla blah blah but i really dont think that i am and wen they tell me that i feel like theres so muc pressure put on me 2 b that person i just cant finally, parents are away this weekend, im satying at grandaparents,working, seeing dot, stayyin at rans its good to get away cept for the tonne of schoolwork dragging along behind :S its horribel so much work its so hard i want to leave i rekonn in the holidays im gonna jump on a train to melborne mayb with sally get away from it finally start livinn and fucking luke rackked his sunnis th other day kinda by accident but i didnt wanna give em back so he started again more than usual, "il get ya sum if ya send me a pic of u in th sunnis, sunnis n nuthin else' 'i remembered something, another kiss, at the junior school, on the playground?' 'maybs wen ya give th sunnis back we could go out the back oxfam, hook up?' 'you know you want me, deep down, and im here waiting for that day' FUCK hes horrible him and his fucking way with words but how does he not understand that he disgusts me, hes dissalusioned i dotn want him at all that broken record he sings i delet all th texts from him mayb i shld keep em, get a restraining order i dotn want him near me when he starts like that it just makes me feel horrible today b4 piano he said summat and i felt so horrible i almost had a breakdown in ma leson tho sumhow i pulled myself together, n played the best i had for agggess thats good i sposee but fuck i dont want this life at all cuttting in class, not sleeping feelin so terribel so much fuck it

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