• porn entry! anyway, aside from that "entirely not shocking" (thanks randy) entry, which is now funny as shit, almost absolutely nothing happened today. boyfriend came over. not for long, so we didnt do much. and apparently my parents still trust me because they left us alone? im not sure whether to be guilty, embarrassed, or just laugh. im sort of all three.. like, i dont want anyone to know but its just that funny. like the first time i skipped school with jess. i have too many stories. so recently i have been wanting to nuke everybody. im really not sure why. i think, metaphorically, the celexa is only keeping my on the edge. i wont jump, but im not safe either. so im not taking enough, but im taking just enough to not down a bleach cocktail. although i have found the chemical equation for mustard gas, and incidentally have all the ingredients in my house. anywhoo, i see my psychiatrist tuesday. i suppose ill tell him about it. cant hurt. meh. i feel bland. its weird, its a weird feeling. like im in suspension. i think im decieving myself. i really need to get out of my head. im reaching.

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