• I'm going to say something insane. More insane. I'm going to make you love me, like I love you. One day. I am so in love with you. I love you so much, and you'll never understand. I know what you said, but it doesn't make it any easier, everything. I have never felt this way about anyone, you are my 'Estelle' (you'll know what this means one day, I hope). The fact that I keep doing this over and over again. And all I can think of is you. My dear. I am madly in love with you, I've never said it to anyone. I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you... I never wanted to say this, but you are the reason I stay alive... I love you. LOVE... A-fucking-mazing. You love me, but not like that, right? I mean who would? Right? I have my catches and triggers. I have to love myself. And god-damn it I will, I have to pull no punches with myself. No biased opinion. I have to look at everything with an untouched mind. See all the pretty colors and faded lights. I have finally found my place in everything. I love you... Over and over you keep saying it. But it keeps bleeding... And soon enough none of this will matter. I want to say I'll move on, but I don't think I can... Because everytime I see you, I want to hold you, I want to kiss you (I'm a real hopeless romantic, emphasis on the hopeless).

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