• I am so awake, my brain so focused This adderall in my bloodstream is better than magic I just wrote a great gatsby english paper without hating it The hours just tick away faster and faster I think it's insane that i'll be getting ready for school in just two more I will have officially gone a whole night without sleeping I don't know why i'm on here because I have nothing to say I don't want to write about nothing, be like everyone else No one cares about my stupid teenage diary I don't even fucking care about my stupid teeenage diary I only care about lyrics to songs sex, drugs, the devolving of society Lady Gaga is super trippy I saw her concert tonight and it was fantastic Like holly shit, that girl can sing I want to believe in mind erasers and robots I keep having this sensation of being dettatched from my fingers I look down at the key board, see them typing away and then feel absolutely nothing Oh well go figure maybe it's a side effect of too many crazy ideas or maybe it's only the drugs Lindsey and i are bffs again i guess she is trouble and i like it a year ago, i couldn't deal with being in the spotlight high school was my whole world and i couldn't see the closing time But now, i know how to feel seemless I can stand in the sunshine and pretend i am beautiful I want my name on their lips, I want his sins on my skin i'd rather be a caught up in other people's drama than have to sit here and vomit out my own chris's birthday was today and i missed him only a little that's a lie, but it's alright it should have been the truth sometimes i feel so far from happy i wonder if you're hurting badly too The things i think freak me out i want to be a writer I want to be a dancer, a poet, a maypole of colors I want to be loved and i want to be hurt but you can never have it all i wish my friend s was here idk why i thought that stream of conciousness, voices inside my head I'm really not sure i believe in love for me I'm really not sure i believe in life for me wait i take it back, all back, down in my throat to my core so i can incinerate it in my fire i don't know what i'm talking about I think i should stop bye

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