• A heightened awareness of my heart beating, palpitations, accompanied by a more than needed awareness of myself and of the softness of everything. Soft skin, soft lips, soft hair, soft shirt, soft touch shirt gives, soft fingernails, soft eyelashes, soft bed sheets, soft words, soft pillow, soft bed, soft buttons, soft feeling. Last night as I drifted off to sleep abstracts thoughts of softness danced around me and I saw my bones fold in. I really haven't the slightest idea what it's about. Or why I feel it, or why I've only felt it since I came back. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. God,I am so sorry. I don't know what for, for you, for me, I don't know, I just feel sorry as fuck. Sorry that I can't where that polka dotted shirt and sorry that I'm here, and that I still don't know what I want and that I don't think I ever will. Sorry that my stomach is still in knots and that I miss it. This isn't what I came to write about. Get out of my mind. Blech. Giving blood, maybe, if my heart isn't a problem. I'm terrified of needles and am fully ready to cry/laugh/hyperventilate in front of a total stranger in order to possibly save someone. I hope I get to. Well not cry and giggle crazily, but give blood. Anyway, I must be going before my thoughts eat my very being. Quote of the Day: ~“Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet.”~ --Roger Miller

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