Pretty good night
I'm glad I got out
it's finally starting to get nice in CT
I actually got to hang out with chris
It's been a while since the last time we hooked up
I guess he got bored with his life or his hand or whatever
But he randomly decided he wants me again
and honestly, even though I know it's way not fair to myself
That i deserve much better than a guy who's always playing hot and cold
I have no real reason to say no
It's not like i have anyone else to fool around with
Not like I don't want him just as bad as before
I have realized that "chemistry" is just a matter of hormones
If you get lonely enough, anyone can become the best thing that ever happened
We went back to his house alone after the "Parents who care too much about their children's gymnastics careers and don't invite anyone else to their exclusive events" (except for me when I'm with chris) club cookout
He wanted to have sex (of course) but i wouldn't let him
I told him it was becacuse i didn't want him to stop talking to me again, since that's what always happens after
Just like with matt, i know the dance
instead of being accused and appologizing profusely, I just put out and then let him walk away
different routine but i worked out these steps
I think i've got it all under control from here
The thing about chris, though, is i'm atleast completely myself around him
I don;t play those bullshit "now this is what you're supposed to do..." games
I tell him straight up that i really like him and i'm well aware it's not reciprocated
I tell him when I start to think crazy things and i get scared my rationale doesn't make sense
He doesn't judge me, which is something i really respect
I give alot of credit to people who can just sit back and listen
He kind of asked me to my own prom which is weird
I already told colin i'd go with him but i really would love to bring chris
My parents are totally against the whole idea, even though I'm not quite sure why
I think it's because they wish i'd pick guys who treat me better
Too bad I'm not doing a whole lot of picking these days
I kind of just take what i can get
Oh well, atleast I've got it for now
Let's see how long i can hold on this ride
let's get these teen hearts beating faster
- April 19, 2009
- serenity23
- No Comments
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