• Dear you, Have you ever been cheated on and lied to by the person you are falling in love with? Have you ever reread the journal entries you wrote around the time that person was off kissing another girl and ignoring your existence? Did those 6-month-old entries ever make you want to punch something, because you know you've got a good relationship now but there'll always be the memories of a time when the person you were meant to be loved by didn't even like you? If you've answered 'yes' to any of the previous questions then my apologies, you obviously DO understand how I feel. I doubt, however, that you DID agree with any of the questions - and for that reason, you'll never understand the reasons why I'm so sensitive about the things you do now. It isn't right to still be friends with the girl you cheated on me with - surely that's universally understood? I have reasons to be worried when, at parties, I go to find you but am told you're off in a corner of a field talking to one of your girly friends about all your life's problems. Isn't it fair enough that it hurts my feelings when I find out you don't talk to me about anything that's REALLY bothering you? Why does it always need to be Amelia, the girl I strongly suspect has no morals and is developing an eating disorder for attention. You don't detect the fake smiles she beams my way when she's trying to pretend we're 'bezzies' and telling me how much "AAAW Xavi likes you SO much. Do you like him too?" (By the way, for the record Amelia: I don't just like him, I LOVE HIM. Ditto with his feelings. We've been together over a year, don't you dare patronise me about my own boyfriend.) I wonder if you ever wonder why I never tell you why I'm actually annoyed at you. Want to know? Because every time I try, you go all quiet and make me feel guilty for ever having negative feelings in the first place. I just brush it under the carpet and go back to my best behaviour in the hopes that my bad mood won't make you stop loving me. It's HARD, Xavi, being your girlfriend. You're so outgoing and friendly and funny, but that doesn't mean you aren't one of the most difficult people I've ever had to be friends with. I highly doubt I'll ever tell you half the things I've just written in this letter, and that makes me sad beyond words. We're fine with telling each other how in love we are, but anything less than that is just out of the question. Maybe that's not a problem for you - maybe you don't see your girlfriend as someone you need to share your feelings with. But if that's the case, I'm becoming very worried about the future. Please, please, think about us without me prompting you. Figure some things out for yourself. Stop hurting me. Love, Mel

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