• austen's not going to the graduation party. he wasn't invited. so there goes that survival plan. but it's okay. well no. it isn't actually. but i have a plan b. i've made up my mind that i will inhale all the courage i'll need. i know it's a coward's way out. but it makes sense to me. because i'd rather feel something fake than feel awkward and hated. but his phone call today made me so happy. and we're planning another secret meeting. last time my friends found out. i hate when they find out. they saw marks on my neck. and they pounced. they smelled the blood and wanted more. they're like savage beasts. intimacy means nothing, secrecy is unheard of. they just want want want. they feed off details. but i can't do that. if i tell everyone it isn't special anymore. it's dirty. rotten. unforgivable. and that's not how i want to remember our time spent together. anyways. i really hope he meant it. that we'll see each other so soon. monday. sunday is easter. the end of lent. he's so proud of me. because i kept my promise. so monday we celebrate. and go off to our own little world.

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