• Not sure of the signals now, I'm too twisted up in myself to notice what is going on. I have one constant in my life, not like that seems to matter to anyone but me. Kind of a let down... All that I've done to do this is taking a part of my soul again. I want you to know, more than anything. But life doesn't work that way for me, not at all... It's a game of all take and no give, hold out what I want and smack me in the face. I am still yet to achieve my best days... Simple practaces that have been lost within my fragmented soul. I am pulling each bit of metal one by one, I am picking at this again, and again. It's no longer about self-interest anymore. What I want is never going to arrive at this point anymore, I know it's not. And I hate that, and the fucking way I feel... I feel sick, it keeps repeating in my mind now, it's so over-consuming. Unjust people find it hard to live with themselves, because you won't be able to stand being around a bad person, [is this why I am so corrupted and dirty on the inside?] so does this mean I don't like being around myself sometimes when my mind wanders to you? Because you are the one thing that is pulling me up and tearing me to shreads... I love you and I can't take it anymore...

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