• Omg dude such a weird fucking night i hung out with linds for the first time in forever it was kind of strange we both pretended we were fine, just like old times and then everything felt okay I don't know, maybe we've been friends too long to be awkward under all that insanity, i still love her i probably should have realized that sooner We went to a pg rated party at this kid blake's house with everyone it was fun, i guess no lamer than i was expecting Robin was there which made me really happy We went outside witha few other people and smoked cigs For my first time, i actually didn't cough that much I really like the way it makes you feel it's just like this rush of being hardcore, this light headed stand point I didn't care what they all said when we came back in i felt completely okay with any odds stacked against me you keep your statistics and diseases i still don't believe in lasting consequences All in all, I'm glad i went i still have this bitch and a half history project to write, but i'll get it done with the drugs it's so funny how in one week i can have such a turn around right now, i just feel so ready to experience i still have the same apathy, but i also have hope i'm officially entering the next phase of my life, the one that goes on after high school drugs become escape sex becomes love music becomes faith these are all the feelings i need to survive and i'm perfectly fine with the cheapest versions available i can't wait to look the part with brave piercings and tattoos i want rainbow colors in my hair, makeup covering my eyelids Stick skinny legs and bracelet covered arms sleepless thoughts and hunger pangs to me, being that fucked up and broken now that is truly beautiful

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