• This is the divine send off, my parting words to the old me back when the world used to be a bit more understandable, the rewritten rules all sprawled out for me to read. Just like you wanted, that was always my problem, this is repeatative, in all senses, but I try to figure out all the rest before my final stage, it all prep work for what is to come, all forms of this illusion I have created to lie to myself into believing this is it... The world is makes more sense than it did, I suppose that is the one time it really matters, it's still a hollow place, a cold hollow void. Like it all fell apart inside my head. It's all I can think of to say, the same lines over and over again, fall apart and something about my head, a need a new line, a new freedom, a new fix to everything like my sins caused all this to happen again. My lines have all fallen into place and finally it all makes sense to the world... Or something like that... The whole idea of evil, am I an evil person? I have done terrible things, maybe not much, but it holds alot more value than what a normal person is capable of... And it has all come undone again... This is where I can stand in the edge of it all the world is about to pull me under because I didn't get it, what I really wanted, what I have is great, fine, but it could have been so much more I suppose this is what I get, a taste... Nothing more, I find it a little bit agravating... But it is fine right now, like my divine chaos, is in order... But still sometimes I want more. But I don't need this like I needed her, it's a totally different scenario, I think, yes it is different, you're not hanging on a thread for her. Two voices... One right, one wrong, but both correct. But I know what I feel is true... Force my hand, taking it out on you, letting you deal with my demons for a while. I don't know if it does? It never helped me out of the hole, but things don't eat me up anymore, I find all doable, desaturated, but not grey. colors all appear that way. Not bright only sometimes. Only in those crazy moments. It's burning down my world, only ashes and debri... So much left to do...

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