• I can't stand this disappointed feeling. I'm sat on the sidelines as everyone changes before I have a chance to stop them. I've given up yelling, waving, trying to get their attention. The only people that seem to be constantly beside me right now are Xavi and Nonie. I hope this is just a bad day but really, there isn't much hope. Ruth only needs Julian and Dani now, Emma only needs herself, Annie needs Bill but she can't have him anymore. Nonie needs her family, Jazz needs her mum, Maria needs her books, Lolz needs her corner in the form room, Xavi seems to need me sometimes but I can never depend on that. Who the fuck do I count on? Who's always there no matter what? I never see Kim, Laura's buggering off to Keele every chance she gets, and it's not like I can chat to my parents about whether I should go on the Pill. He's gone to bed now, and I don't know why I wish it were mine so much, because if he was falling asleep next to me there's no way in hell I'd fall asleep. As he told me in my song, I'd rather take the pain of sore eyes. Let's take the dark and make it our own It'll be just ours, it'll be our home. Please don't be scared, I'm right here I swear Holding your hand - stop talking 'cause I know. And your touch might save me And although it might break me, I Take pride in this internal war, and I'd Take sides in a million more, just to See you look at me and smile, and it Makes it all worthwhile. And my eyes Have never been this sore Staying up all night And the night before With you in my bed Keeping me awake But it'll take it 'cause it's the Best kind of pain.

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