• Today, for the first time in years, it seems, I feel awake. No, I think the right word is: alive. I would prefer to keep it simple, to leave at that; but I think I'll regret it if I don't capture as much of this as I can, in the way you might try to hold on to a dream. Although it's February, it's probably hot enough outside to be considered summer weather in the majority of the world. I have one hour of sleep behind me, and for the total hours of sleep I've had this week, I only know it was not many. Outside the sky is slightly washed out. It looks dry, like the dusty colored clouds and trees. Yesterday was unique in that all the little things went only a little wrong, enough to achieve a perpetual feeling of uneasiness. Nothing was settled or accomplished. Although today wasn't anything spectacular, an optimistic air has developed. That was enough, contrasted to that which I've become accustomed, to wake me up I think. Also, speaking of dreams, I've actually been having some in the last month or so. Many, in fact. It's very refreshing. Now, only distinct clarity of mind remains; the rush is over. If I can hold on to this much, though, things are looking very well.

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