• Ok.. So I just realized I don't have a "formal" introduction haha. How lame. Or not..?? Dunno. Anyways.. I spose I'll insert a rambling introduction here. Because I ramble often. Anywho. I'm trying not to burden my friends so much with my problems.. They already have enough on their hands.. What with Moriah's insecurtiy about Brian, and Kirstie and Cory breaking up, and Adrian.. well, I don't really feel like Adrian would care very much. And Tacy is all upset about Caleb. And thinks she's prego.. Lordy. Anywho, there's really not too many people who I can confide in at the moment. Deffinately not Cameron. For one, it would be really dumb. And for two, he doesn't really worry too much anyway. But yeah.. So I'm trying to keep a blog. Usually it doesn't go over too well.. but I'm gonna try again. If it doesn't work, at least I tried, right?? Ok.. so today was a bust. I left school at 1:15 to get my MRI on my back.. and I was so friggin nervous!! But it turned out ok. We won't get the results til tomorrow though.. :\ Oh well.. And Kirstie keeps on IMing me.. but Lord knows she'll start talking about Cory which is all she ever does. No offens to her I love her.. but right now I can only take so much of other people's problems. Ok so back to my day.. Well I got back with like 10 minutes left in the schoolday. And then Mrs. Arnold told us who would be going to HOBE. Between Ryan, Moriah and me guess who it was? NOT me.. bah. It was Moriah. Lovely. I love that girl to death.. I'd take 100 bullets for her. But she just endlessly talks about stuff that excites her. And it was a big dissapointment. So I really don't want to talk about it right now.. I dunno. I feel really selfish but when I say congrats I want it to be from my heart, you know? Well.. whatever. Pluss this whole Ryan thing.. Gah. Why can't I be rid of him?? I keep thinking about him. I wonder if he likes me. I listen to the music he listens to and look at the lyrics.. to see if it's a hidden message to me. Corny, self-centered, and dumb I know. But my heart is seriously in overdrive here. I'm pretty sure I love Cam, but then Ryan has always been there.. and I'm starting to think that he will be for a long time. And I hate it. When I'm dating someone he's so nice, but when I'm single and he likes me, he doesn't do a thing about it. I mean, he can't take a chance with me, but he can with Laura?? It's so dumb.. he's so confusing. Grr.. And I keep wondering if he still likes me. And it's really dangerous. Cuz I don't want to break Cam's heart like I did Colton's. Or Brady's. Or Sean's. Well, I dunno about Sean. But he's quit his stalker tendencies!! {{Yess!!}} I think Cam said something to him.. At least, that's what Matt said. And he doesn't ever talk to me in the hallways anymore. So that's pretty friggin amazing. Ok. So that really got a load off my chest. Thank goodness.. I know I prolly sound whiny and complain-y.. but this is my only outlet at the moment. ok.. so i origianally wrote that for my personal blog site thingy.. and i was going to erase it but then i realized wow.. this is still how i feel. so then I was like ok whatever ill just keep it. wow. im so tired right now.. i wonder how were doing at wrestling districts.. hmm.. ill ask cory. peace.

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