• today has been one of the best days i've had in the longest time in my smile, there's alittle tilt if you look closely, maybe you can see it Because for once i'm telling the truth about actually being happy my confidence is spilling over when i look in mirrors i actually feel content right now,i feel lucky it's in my hair in my eyelids in my finger nails that luck, that good day vibe it's everywhere, all over me encompassing, safe, like a blanket it's warm, so warm and i believe in it too that's important i think all that believing has gotten me so far I brought home two medals from my meet yesterday they're nice and shiny, with pretty ribbons i hung them up in my bedroom so i can wake up and see i am a vault and floor champion I have a boy who really likes me it happened so fast, but it feels real i can see myself fucking him, but i can see beyond that too there's a connection i can;t quite grasp something in between physical and my mind i want him in a free sort of way, because i don't expect to get let down i feel safe having expectations i can take disappointment, i'm good with abuse there's is nothing to fear but fear itself in case you couldn't tell i am flying on aderall I love this awakeness, the feeling i care about everything i do i go back and fix my mistakes it's exceleent, it';s intoxicating everyone should try some tomorow i might hang out with my friend robin who has crazy colored hair and vikodin pills i'm excited i want blue and purple streaks i don't even want to be plain or recognizable ever again i want to be as jumbled up and colorful as i feel right now because it's the closest to happy i can remember

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