• schools back.. yr 11.. 40 degree heat everyday , overwhelmed completly iv had the shittest weekend.. i think my problem is that im too good at hiding how i feel.. no one actually knows when im feeling shit unless i tell them btu i wont coz i dont want to seem whiny.. friday was good.. was almost n a car crash that wouldve killed me.. but it didnt.. why?? stupid life when i was a kid i used to have nightmares all the time.. i still do but i used to lie in bed n say forget forget forget.. over n over an over agian.. till i forgot what id dreamed about .. i try that all the time now when my brain keeps up throwing memories at me that i just wanna forget but it doesnt work... i want out... anything.. death or medication seem to be the only answers i can think of.. at the moment im leanign towards a bottle of bleach....

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