• i wanna be interesting to you but doesnt everyone ? i write on my hands cause i want you to see it. i want you to see my thoughts and feelings in song form. i want you to see the lyrics that dictate my life. i want you to see them and think about what they mean to me. think about what they have to do with and who they are meant for. i want you to see them and worry that im killing myself inside. i want you to care for fucking once in my life about the heartache i might have or the fucked up things i cant handle in my own goddamn life. i want to seem interesting to you. i want you to be interested in my life. i want the things to mean something for once. i want people to see these words and think that im deep and have a meaning to my life. i want to see more than a heart broken teenage girl cause there is so much more to me than that. i want you to see what im thinking every damn minute of every damn day. i want you to watch me and see me change and react and grow. i want you to care about my feelings and that i get hurt and fall and stand back up all on my fucking own cause youre never fucking around. i want you to sit at home late at night and wonder about me, wonder if im thinking about you, what music im listening to, or if ive finally moved on and right at that second talking to some new guy. i want you to watch me and think im suicidal so you'll rescue me from myself. i want you to lie to yourself about me. pretend like you dont need me but pine away at night wishing for my body and whithering in agony because now all you have is memories and even those are beginning to fade. i want you to be sitting in the middle of the night thinking of me and not be able to stand it a minute longer. you sneak out and ride your fucking skateboard over and throw pebbles at my window till i open it up and beg for me to take you back. i want to be able to shut that window and go back to bed not wanting anything to do with you. but i know that id smile at you close the window and run down into your waiting arms and take you back in a heart beat. and i know the next day youd forget me and remember how much a big mistake i am and break me again. and id just keep on forgiving you and keep on letting you back in cause baby i believe in everyone im ready to accept that people can change and im willing to let them willing to give them that second change they really dont deserve. i think brand new said it best "i need you like water in my lungs."

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