• I think for once I'm actually going to be honest and speak my mind about all the things i'm terrified to say i live here in this little ignorant world under all these images and pretensions i project myself as a whore or a ditz because that's waht they're expecting and i lost my ability to feel ashamed somewhere along the way i have so many things that are really important to me it's crazy how when i let myself get ahead i can really see myself being sort of okay I understand i will alwasy hurt like this, the kind that brings me to tears hiding behind my doorway all alone in the dark it's a part of who i am, a part of belieivng in something i have a no proof of, a part of wanting more than what they're handing out but it's a cross i will gladly bear if it means i can be me, and i mean really be me,the girl who writes poetry and watches reality tv instead of doing homework it is so necesary for me to spend the majority of my waking hours unfeeling as I'm surrounded with everyone else who doesn't need my tears from now on,i cry only here, as i type, in front of the screen onto which i can breath without fear of suffocating i want changes, but i need a plan because wishing and dreaming are just not enough i need action, i need to fight for where i hope to go Because i really think i can have a shot at beautiful 1. writing-i need to have it. Even when i'm talking inside my head, i always think about how my words would look twisted on paper. Writing is the closest thing i have to happy right now, so i'm going to hang onto it tightly. i'm in the middle of a book of song poems about love and lust and the whole party scene. I want to finsih once i have 365 poems; one for every day of the year. MY RESOLUTION: write one a day about whatever song is stuck in my head and add another entry. Let myself become involved in a stroy, let myself take the risk that i'll fail or run out of time. That way, when there's somewhere i just can't be, i'll have a place to go. 2. Music- blasting, beating, rhythym, lyrics. These songs just make me feel so safe and less alone. Andrew Mcmahon,you are my hero. I love when it just clicks and the whole wporld m,akes more since because of a line i never really noticed before. I appreciate all that these bands and these singers have done for me; in fact music has probably been my biggest saving grace. MY RESOLUTION: memorize/rewrite at least one song every day. If I can do just that little bit, then it will be enough 3. Reading-I love books because they are ideas. I can get lost and escape inside my mind so that no one can find me. From now on I PROMISE to read atleast one chapter a night and really, truly, think about it 4. Sleeping- 4 and a half hours a night is all i really need. when i'm exhausted and feel like i'm going to collapse, i cna take 20 minute naps. and on that note, i'm ready for bed goodnight

• No Comments

Log in now to tell us what you think this song means.

Don’t have an account? Create an account with SongMeanings to post comments, submit lyrics, and more. It’s super easy, we promise!