• hey everybody wow it's been forever since i've written on here i actually just got home from florida yesterday back to ct cold and snow and sucky real life realities like homework..ew but anyway, for now i can;t really complain it's almost 2 in the morning and i'm the only one awake i've decided that 4.5 hours of sleep is more than enough nightly i take 20 minute naps to keep from collapsing i find it crazy how i really can drift into some form of unconciousness and dream that quickly last night for new years i went to H's house we all stayed completely sober and sat in the hot tub until our hair froze it was good i guess i don't know, no less than i was expecting i wish i could have had a crazy adventure, but no worries just a year and a half until i'm out of here on my own we looked at colleges when i was in florida University of miami, baby, now that's what i'm talking about basically, it's all about the party scene kids with a lot of potential being their own worst enemies i couldn't find a better fit unfortuantely, it's for very smart people i have to get my grades wayy up, which means effort not sure if it's worth it yet hopefully i figure it all out like i always do So random love life update:chris visited me in florida shocking, non? turns out he was staying at a place like 5 minutes away um freaky twist of fate much? i'm actually really glad he came i think our talk might have actually left an impression for some reason, i just get really honest around him maybe it's because that's the way he is; overly open about everything but i really don't think i left a single thing out that i'd been wanting to say it feels so good when you let it all out like that when you just kind of throw everything you've got into the wind with a take it or leave it attitude there's no secrets left to break you you're just there, without the pent up anger for once, i actually was proud of me for trusting in eveything else Don't get me wrong, it's not like we're the perfect happy couple now he still confuses the hell out of me with his whole girlfriend who i never call business but i'm kind of starting to accept the fact that it's never going to be more than a semblance of a relationship and strangely, i'm kind of okay with that Tomorow seems like it's going to be a good day i have tila tequila's book to read i have a cd from s to upload i have a smile somewhere out there and friends i can trust so yea, i think i'm doing just fine my new years resolution is going to be reminding myself how lucky i am every time i start to get down even on those freezing mornings, where i just can't make myself lift up the covers even when i'm feeling crushed by homework and pretensions and things i just have to force my way through i will stop and say, "you know what, you really have absolutely nothing to bitch about" i read these depressing books about girls in afghanastan who have never seen the outside world without a barqa and it makes me feel like screaming it seems so terribly unfair sometimes, the way the other side of the world can go on existing without us really watching if i could fix it i swear i would in a heartbeat tikkun olam, reapairing the world now wouldn;t that be something

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